


I Called Him Mine

by vdova



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BuckyNat Mini-Bang, BuckyNat Mini-Bang 2017, F/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 21:56:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10397049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vdova/pseuds/vdova
Summary: Natasha has spent the last few decades mourning the loss of her soul mate, a man who was taken from her before she even knew who he truly was. All of that is about to change.





	

Having coffee by herself in the cozy café near base was a weekly occurrence for Natasha. Even if the espresso machines scattered throughout the SHIELD base made fine cappuccino, nothing really beat people watching in the little hipster joint Sharon had turned her onto. The tech that obscured her identity certain didn’t hurt.  


Most days saw her leaving with a smile on her face and a light hop in her step, but certain things were sure to twist her stomach. It was the couple in the corner booth that had her leaving an hour earlier than intended and in a foul mood. They barely registered on Natasha’s radar until the black haired woman combed her hair over one shoulder, the back of her hand showing some kind of mark. Natasha glanced up from her coffee in time to see the man brush his fingers over the mark and smile, spelling out a name in an elegant cursive. Dammit. The coffee shop was her happy place, but she was out the door before the barista even noticed her move.  


Soul marks. That was the standard term for them, though most cultures called them something else. In Russia, they’d referred to them as ‘soul identifiers’, working off a less romantic notion. That they would find their true partner, their other half, someone to complete them. The reality was the same around the globe however- the name found on your skin was your true soul mate. End of story, do not pass go, do not collect $200.  


Some people were less lucky than others. Circumstances (distance, health, whatever) would keep some apart. One would die before finding the other, leaving one half of a soul reading an obituary before they even met. Sometimes, especially before modern technology, people settled down with non-soul mates. Sometimes, their mate would show up and complicate things. Then there were the unluckiest of all: the ones who didn’t have a mark. Uncommon, but it happened, leaving a person a blank slate for their life.  


Natasha’s hand instinctively flitted up to her left shoulder, brushing over fabric that hid her own mark. The words in all caps read the name of her soul mate, James Buchanan Barnes. The name of a dead man.  


She was one of the unlucky ones, but it was what she’d expected as her life progressed. The name of an American hadn’t made sense to the young Russian, leaving Natalia with a sense that her soul mate would be lost to her forever. She’d lived her life with that thought, deciding that soul mates were for the weak. Ivan had appreciated the sentiment, as it only made her stronger in his eyes.  


Too consumed in her thoughts, Natasha wasn’t paying attention where her feet were taking her until she finally looked up through the haze of memories. Her own anxious energy had taken her to one of the area museums, one that specifically had a large, permanent exhibit on Captain America. Natasha continued inside, flashing her membership ID at the waiting attendant, even if the girl didn’t look up from her Teen Vogue.  


The Captain America exhibit was large and expansive, detailing parts of Steve’s life that he would likely rather forget. She’d taken Steve to the museum a grand total of once, and after seeing the look on his face, decided to sneak him out a side door and never speak of the incident again. But there was one room that always held Natasha’s attention for a little too long.  


The video was about half an hour long, mostly of on-base interviews with the Howling Commandos, mostly the propaganda pieces they played back home to inspire the troops. It was, of course, mainly Steve, but there was always someone in the frame with him. Sometimes in the back talking to others, but often right in the middle of the frame on Steve’s right. A man that she’d once called her soldier, her American… her’s. A man she called her dead soul mate.  


They weren’t normal circumstances, but Avengers and SHIELD agents didn’t get normal soul mates. They were often other agents, making the perfect pairs to send on missions. Steve was even part of a set, with him and Sharon the pinnacle of success in the organization. After a while of watching the old footage, Natasha texted Steve and asked to meet up.  


“His eyes crinkled differently when he faked laughed. Other people couldn’t see it, but it physically hurt me to see him like that,” Steve said, leaning back in his chair. The pair were sitting in one of the more secluded SHIELD break rooms, nestled into a pair of overly stuffed chairs. “I kept telling him inside jokes during that filming. I didn’t want it to be a lie, even if only I knew it was.”  


“I’m glad you did. I wouldn’t have anything else to remember him by, otherwise,” Natasha responded quietly. Steve’s jaw almost audibly snapped shut, but she hadn’t meant anything by the comment.  


Natasha and Steve had the odd relationship of knowing Bucky at different times in his life. Steve had known him as the child, the sidekick, the soldier who died too young. Natasha had known him as a fellow weapon.  


\--  


Natalia often felt like a completely different person to Natasha. The young girl in the red room hadn’t even been a ‘girl’ at nearly 30 years old, but the training had made her feel like a child at times. Especially when it came to her trainer, a strict and strong man they only called the Winter Soldier. He’d been the one to recruit Natasha, offering her the serum and explaining most of the effects. Only one made her pause- by taking the serum, her link with her soul mate would be severed. The name would remain, but the sense of belonging the first time they were to touch wouldn’t exist. It would take seeing both names to have the warming sensation she’d been told about. It was a risk, but one she was willing to take.  


A number of the other girls had marks that were more visible. It was easy to pick them out, considering the odd clothing choices. One of the older girls was less ashamed of her mark, proudly pulling her hair back to show the name across the back of her neck, the name of a prince about to take a throne. She was used to take him out of the line of succession; then she was beheaded.  


Soul mates were a weakness in the red room.  


Natalia found comfort in her own lack of a connection. Her life had been a series of traveling and battles that seemed unwinnable before the red room. The training was brutal and often saw her passing out in bed at the end of the day. There was one bright spot in all of it, though.  


He called her Natalia. She called him her soldier. It was a cheeky nickname to begin with, poking fun at his serious attitude. But it went from being said during training to being whispered while pressed impossibly close to each other. Her name had never sounded as sweet as when it was coming from his lips, whispered against her neck in the heat of the moment.  


There was one moment that had been burned into Natasha’s mind. Her soldier had been pressing kisses along her back when he froze, lips hovering a breaths distance from her left shoulder. The time they’d spent together had caused Natalia to forget about the mark on her shoulder, but his hesitation caused her to stiffen.  


“Something wrong?” she murmured, twisting around to look at him.  


A moment of hesitation, and he looked up at her, “Nothing. Lost in thought.”  


The kisses quickly turned into bites, distracting her mind from his moment of what had seemed like panic. It wasn’t the mark itself that had made him pause – which is what she’d written it off as, given the stigma against non-soul mates – but the name. The name had stirred something within the soldier’s heart, like he’d carelessly pressed his fingers against a flame and recoiled a moment after the burn began. But the sensation was gone almost immediately, and he wrote it off as a fluke.  


\--  


“Nat?” Hearing her name caused Natasha to twitch out of memory lane, blinking at Steve for a few seconds before remembering where she was. “You alright?”  


“Yes, sorry,” she responded immediately, wiping a hand down her face. “I was just thinking. It’s ironic- I was with my soul mate for weeks, but neither of us knew who the other was. Not exactly a normal match.”  


Steve smiled, “You and him? Weren’t exactly normal.”  


It was odd, having a person who knew both of them over such long periods of time. Steve had known her soldier before everything, before the Russians got to him and corrupted him, when he was still young. Natasha had known him as a weapon. Yet Steve still heard the stories and wasn’t surprised when Natasha had showed him her soul marks years prior. She still remembered what he’d told her: “You two would’ve been perfect for each other.” Would’ve been. Past tense. And yet all she had was a super soldier who could tell her stories of youth.  


But the world had a funny way of showing Natasha grace. A few weeks later, while on a solo recon mission, she received a text from a contact that was hesitant to reach out. It was only a link to a news article.  


Captain America Dead  


Natasha felt like the ground had fallen out from under her. But then, why would someone like her be allowed to be happy?  


Tony’s idea for her to guard the shield felt more like a burden than an honor. The weight was familiar in her hands. While on missions in the past, Steve had trusted her to catch and use the shield properly. While the distraction trucks got ready to leave, Tony caught Natasha brushing her fingers along the straps and back of the shield. He watched her for a few moments before asking, “Where were you?”  


It was an accusation she’d expected the moment her boots walked into SHIELD HQ after the so-called ‘civil war’ that she’d avoided. It was also a question she hadn’t wanted to deal with, not while mourning the loss of her friend. Not while she was in the midst of planning his funeral. “Tracking some B list baddies. Someone had to be out there while the rest of you were…” she waved her hand in a non-committed motion, not willing to finish the sentence. At least not to Tony’s face.  


He opened his mouth and immediately shut it, setting his jaw in the manner Natasha had once loved- now she just thought it was annoying. “I was going to ask if you’d be willing to fill the role, but never mind.”  


The first truck took off, Natasha turning to watch the vans leave instead of watching Tony. “I would’ve turned you down, anyways. There are men – people – out there who are willing, able, and qualified to carry the shield. I’m none of the above.”  


Another speechless moment from Tony followed, just long enough for Natasha to hop into her car and peel out of the warehouse. The other trucks were out of sight, leaving what looked like a straight shot to the holding area for the shield. It was supposed to be an easy trip, but she wasn’t expecting a ghost to slam down onto the hood of her car.  


Natasha swerved hard to the right, the car slamming to a halt against the side of a nearby building. She was out of the car with the shield on her back and guns in hand in a flash, ready to shoot her assailant down. But one look at him, and it felt like the world had tilted sideways.  


“Natalia?” her soldier said, the gun in his hand lowering slightly.  


All it took was the one word to take Natasha back to their time together. Back to when he’d sneak into her room late at night, back when he was the spot of perfection in her life. Back to when she’d go into a panic over a mission and he’d wrap his hands around her face, press a kiss to her forehead, and tell her there was nothing to worry about.  


Back to when he was her’s, before he was pointing a gun at her.  


“I don’t want to hurt you,” she managed, holstering one of her guns. Had it been anyone else, there would’ve already been a bullet between his eyes. The shield meant too much to too many people, but the man looking like he’d seen a ghost meant too much to her.  


“I was about to say the same thing,” he responded. There was a beat where they both inhaled, waiting, but he made the first move. The lunge at her took Natasha off guard enough to throw her backwards, but she countered by swinging the shield at him. His confliction at the fight read on his face, but she was too distracted with him being alive. In one moment of close combat, she got a hold of his flesh wrist and jerked it to the side, pulling the two of them far too close together. They froze in the position, noses nearly brushing. His eyes still looked the same to her- distant and lonely. His cheeks were gaunt, his lips twisted into a scowl. He clearly hadn’t been eating right or taking care of himself. He was scrutinizing her face in a similar fashion, given the broken, “Natalia,” he managed. He sounded so far away, like he was decades out of time.  


“This isn’t Russia,” she responded hoarsely, “and you’re in my way.”  


Her other arm jerked around to punch him in the gut, but his metal arm was too fast. A solid strike across the face and Natasha went down, blacking out before she hit the ground.  


Natasha woke up minutes later, though it felt like hours in her head. Tony’s voice was screaming in her ear, so she ripped her comm out and threw it a few feet away. Her concerns should’ve been on the fact that she was laying out in the middle of a ruined street, but all she could think of was her soldier. Her James. Clearly someone had to have known he was alive and those someones hadn’t told her a damn thing while she’d been out of the country. Her heart told her Steve had known, but that was likely wishful thinking. Getting his Bucky back only for Steve to die- cruel irony. On second thought, that sounded about right.  


Finally picking herself up off the concrete, Natasha retrieved her comm and turned the mic on without checking if someone was talking first. “A ghost stole the shield. I’ll debrief at base,” she said before pocketing the comm. Her car was totaled; it was going to be a long walk back to base.  


But her soul mate wasn’t actually dead. Barely alive and hell bent on having Steve’s shield for some reason, but alive. Her hand brushed up to hold her left shoulder, a small smile on her face. For decades, she’d thought her actions had caused his death.  


Though given the current circumstances that might’ve been better.  


\--  


The red room had figured out a way to fake a soul mark. It involved science she barely understood, but she got enough- the name they wrote on her arm was to be her husband. Her soldier had been out that day, training some potential new recruits that didn’t make the grade. When he returned, Natalia was curled up on her bed, looking at the script on her forearm.  


“You didn’t have that before.” It wasn’t a question, though there was a twinge of fear and jealousy in his words. “What did they do?”  


“I’m supposed to marry him.” Her voice was quiet, lacking the confidence her words tended to convey. “A test pilot, I believe. I haven’t been completely debriefed. They said the mark takes a few days to heal right, I’ll get… 

information…” she trailed off, lost in her own thoughts.  


Her soldier brushed a hand along her jaw, gently turning her head to look up at him. It wasn’t until her head moved that Natalia realized she was crying. “We can find a way out of this. I won’t let them do this do you.”  


Her hand moved up to gently wrap around his fingers, “I have no say in this; neither of us do. You always said this place would tear us apart, but I didn’t think it would be this soon.”  


The confliction was evident on his face. Both of them knew the power of those above them; they would be torn apart. But neither of them were willing to let what they had go.  


\--  


The fake mark with Alexei’s name was long gone, the name dissipating after she’d defected. But the memory of the mark was still present. It’d spelled the beginning of the end for the two of them. Maybe life was giving them a second chance, though it wasn’t making it any easier.  


Tony was chewing her out the moment she walked into headquarters, apparently pissed off at too much and yet not enough. It took him grabbing Natasha’s arm for her to react, grabbing Tony by the front of his shirt and backing him back into his office. She kicked the door shut behind her and slammed him against the opposite wall, all her pent up emotion spilling out as anger. “How many people knew he was alive?” There was no context, no reference. Tony knew what she was talking about.  


“Steve. He wanted to keep it quiet and handle it on his own, but getting Barnes back didn’t go as planned.” Tony was relatively calm for having a pissed off Russian threatening his life.  


Of course Steve had kept it quiet, and of course it was the one person she couldn’t be angry with who hadn’t told her. He’d probably thought he was saving her pain. “And you, in your infinite wisdom, thought keeping this information from me was a good idea… why?” Tony opened his mouth to respond, but Natasha barreled forward. “I’m good, the best at what I do, but having my soul mate thrown in my face is a curve ball I could never expect!”  


‘Soul mate’ clearly threw Tony for a loop, since his mouth fell open in horror. “Your what?”  


Natasha had always assumed Steve told Tony about her soul mark. It was highly classified information- even her level 10 access folder said she had no soul mark. Still going strong on her tirade of anger, Natasha jerked her uniform down and turned, showing the mark on her shoulder, “You don’t know everything about me, Stark. If you bring him in, you’d better let me talk to him first. And you’d better bring him in alive.”  


There wasn’t anything else to say after that, Natasha storming out while pulling her suit back up. One of the doctors tried to stop her, saying something about a concussion, but she had too much work to do. Tony was going to send people after her soldier, and she had to be the first one to get to him.  


It wasn’t the easiest of missions, especially with so many other government agencies looking for the man. But the chase eventually came to an end, with Natasha looking down at an unconscious Bucky while her back up hovered overhead. The trip back to base had her watching over him, the pilot of the helicopter too nervous to leave him to his own devices in case he woke up. With no one else in the back, Natasha couldn’t help but run her fingers through his hair. It wasn’t as greasy as she’d expected- he’d at least been bathing. Bucky stirred, but he simply rolled over in his drunk addled state. A small smile twitched onto Natasha’s lips. If Tony had seen her do that, then he probably would’ve tried something about sentimentality and pulled her off his case.  


Oh, but she’d like to see him try.  


Once back at base, Natasha didn’t let her soldier out of her sight. Tony tried, multiple times, to pull her away, but it wasn’t until she knew he was secured that she took her eyes off him to turn on the director. “The arm removed from him- short circuit it. That’s not the arm he had last I knew him, but even then it had a system built in to deal with tampering.” Tony opened his mouth to respond, but Natasha pressed a finger to his lips to silence him. “I’m talking to him in five minutes. Argue and I’ll electrocute you. Say yes.”  


A part of her would have been all too happy to get used to the speechless Tony the entire endeavor was bringing out. But he managed a meek, “Yes,” before turning to leave, barking orders at some poor agent. Natasha smiled to herself. She had five minutes to collect her thoughts.  


\--  


Natalia had thought they would have weeks to get her out of the arranged wedding, but the mental reconditioning started almost immediately. The first few memories were ground work, memories of parents she never knew and siblings that had actually lived past Natalia’s first birthday. Days after the fake soul mark was tattooed on her, her soldier found her sitting in the corner of her room, still wearing her training uniform from an earlier session.  


“You shouldn’t be here,” she said quietly, not reaching for him like she normally did. Even with the marriage looming over their heads she had been affectionate and close. Something had broken inside her.  


“You and I both know neither of us is good at following that rule.” He crouched next to her, brushing fingers along her arm. She jerked her arm back and away from him, eyes still trained on the ground. “They gave you your cover today, didn’t they?”  


Natalia nodded slowly, tilting her chin to gesture towards a pile of clothing next to her bed. “I’m to be a ballerina with the Bolshoi. It covers the muscles and structure from my training. They started implementing the memories today, but…” she trained off, her voice cracking on the last word, “I can’t tell what’s real anymore.”  


He’d thought he’d recognized the faraway look in her eyes. It was the look of someone who couldn’t tell if their reality was real- he’d seen it enough on his missions and with other operatives. The woman he’d fallen in love with, his Natalia, was slowly slipping away. “I’m real,” he finally said, reaching down to hold her hand. “I’m real and I’m here. We’ll figure this out.”  


Natalia turned to look up at him, eyes wide with a mix of horror and wonder, “Why couldn’t it have been you? Why couldn’t the name on my back been you?” It was wishful thinking on her part; her soldier had no soul mark, not that she’d seen. Of course the red room would recruit men who naturally had no marks.  


“I don’t know, Natalia,” he responded, gently tugging her arm so he could hoist her up into his arms, “But be thankful that isn’t true. They would have used us in any way they saw fit.”  


“And weapons don’t get happy endings,” she murmured against his neck, voice sounding far away and broken. He swore in the back of his mind. Their handlers had managed to break the one good thing in his life. There had to be a way to make them pay for it.  


He set her down in her bed, not releasing her until she was under the covers and sleeping quietly. Maybe there wasn’t happiness for them at the end of the day, but damn if he wasn’t going to hold onto what he had.  


\--  


When Natasha first entered the holding cell, Bucky looked startled. He’d clearly been expecting someone else, given that he was speechless until she sat down in the chair across the table from him. “I didn’t hit you too hard, did I?” he finally said, sputtering slightly.  


“If by ‘too hard’ you mean ‘I’m not dead’, then sure. Mild concussion and a few minutes of napping on the cement, but otherwise, no, I’m fine.” Her words came out in a deadpan she normally reserved for Tony, but then it had been a hideously stupid question. Just like Steve use to ask. Her heart ached; she needed to focus.  


“I thought you’d be dead by now.” At least one of them was on topic, though the question made Natasha’s eyebrows rise for a moment, “It’s been decades. I guess their serum did work on all of you.”  


“No real ‘all’ any longer. To my knowledge, and to SHIELD’s, there are only two widows left. Apparently I was such a success, they couldn’t find many others who could stand up to me. Especially after I defected. But we’re not here to talk about me, we’re here to talk about you.” Natasha leaned forward, hands clasped together on the table, and met Bucky’s eyes with an icy look. “So tell me, James- why steal the shield?”  


Bucky’s eyes widened at his name, though the look only lasted a moment. She recognized the look on his face; he wasn’t sure if he could really trust her or not. She couldn’t blame him, of course, given their current circumstances. He could have seen her as the enemy and she wouldn’t have given it much thought, even if it hurt. “Answer my question and I’ll answer your’s,” he returned, flesh hand moving to peel back the layer of his shirt, “Why is your name on my ribs?”  


The question made no sense to Natasha, until her eyes trailed down his chest to rest on his then bare ribs. There, in her signature cursive, was Natalia Romanova, written across his torso. Her name was scrawled along his lowest rib, neat and tight, the way she wrote on narrow surfaces when needed.  


It took a lot to leave Natasha without words, but seeing the soul mark of her name had certainly turned all her thoughts to nothing but static.  


There was an odd sensation in her stomach, like she’d just drank slightly too warm hot chocolate. Her finger tips felt as if she’d pressed them against a warm oven. It was the same feelings Sharon had described upon seeing Steve’s soul mark for the first time. The mark was real, but it almost raised more questions than it answered.  


“Why did I never see that in the red room?” she asked, tone slightly more accusatory than she’d intended, “We were certainly naked around each other enough. I likely ran my lips over that very spot. I would’ve remembered seeing my name on you.”  


Bucky lowered his shirt, hand returning to lie palm up on the table, “They found a way to burn the mark off. It normally returned after a few days, but it worked well enough. They had to have known we were soul mates; it’s why they kept me away from you until you got the serum that severed the tie. There’s no way they were willing to lose their Winter Soldier or their most promising Widow because of something as silly as soul marks.” His voice was full of bitter anger and malice, his tone spitting poison. The very same emotions Natasha had felt after putting together who the man she’d been so in love with was.  


“I don’t have a soul mark.” The lie came from Natasha before she even thought it through. There was no point in lying, but hell if something had made her do it. The sentence made Bucky’s face fall, whatever glimmer of hope in his eyes extinguishing. “I don’t know where you got that idea. The reason they picked me to marry Alexei was partially due to the lack of a soul mark. That’s all.”  


Part of her wanted him to call her on the lie, to lash out and prove her wrong, to mention seeing the mark on her shoulder. Her mark felt like it was on fire, as if had just been seared into her skin with a red hot poker. The physical pain paled in comparison to the look of betrayal and disappointment on Bucky’s face, though. “It’s only a one sided mark,” he said, more a statement than a question, “Sorry to have brought it up.”  


Natasha knew she had more to ask him, but seeing his soul mark had rattled her too much. “Tony has something he wants to talk to you about,” she managed, pushing away from the table and turning to leave without waiting for a response.  


The only thing she registered on her way out of his holding cell was the strangled, “Natalia!” as the door slammed shut behind her.  


\--  


Of course their superiors found out what was going on. Natalia was only surprised it took so long for them to figure it out. She’d thought they’d always known and let it go to see what happened. They were lying in her bed with her asleep on his chest when the agents burst into her room, dragging the two of them apart and marching them to an office Natalia had never been in.  


They started electrocuting him before any questions were asked. The shouts in the office were clearly putting the blame on her soldier, something about corrupting an ‘asset’ and overstepping boundaries. No matter how she begged, though, they refused to let her take the blame.  


“He didn’t do anything wrong!” she pleaded, struggling against the men holding her still, “It was my fault! I did this!” But a strike across her face kept her silent, watching in horror as her soldier was tortured for something she blamed herself for.  


Finally, they let up, the men stepping away from her soldier and letting him breathe for a few moments. Then the commander who hadn’t spoken through the entire event finally stood and stared between the two of them. “Wipe him. Sentimentality is not a weakness our assets can afford. As for her,” he glared at Natalia, lips twitching into a frown, “She’ll forget him soon enough. Keep an eye on her until then.”  


Natalia was too numb to the words to even react, going limb as she was drug away. Her eyes stayed trained on the man crumbled on the floor. Even knowing they were going to take her memories of him away from her, she wanted to engrave him in her mind. Until the moment they tore everything away from her, she wanted to remember the man that reminded her she was still human.  


\--  


Tony found Natasha in his office, curled up in the horribly uncomfortable chair like it was actually her office. He scoffed, “Nice show you put on in there. Almost had me believing you, except the part where you were lying through your damn teeth.”  


Natasha glared up at him, sitting back up in the chair, “I panicked and did what I thought necessary. You know what that’s like, right? Making the hard decisions? Lying to make yourself feel better?” She let out a short laugh, “Oh, right, you’d rather take the road of least resistance than actually make up your own mind.”  


There was a reason Natasha and Tony’s attempts at working together seemed to blow up in their faces more often than not. They were both too stuck in their ways, seeing the other as nothing but an obstacle. Tony’s lips turned up into a sneer for a moment before settling into a smirk, moving to lean against the desk a few feet from Natasha. “Your soul mate is an internationally wanted terrorist and criminal who’s in SHIELD custody. That feel good to you?”  


Natasha sighed heavily, pushing the chair away from the desk and standing. She picked up the piece of paper sitting in front of her, shoving it into Tony’s chest as she walked away. “James might be those things, but he’s also weighed down with a guilty conscious over the death of his best friend. A man you had a hand in killing.” Tony started, turning to yell an insult at Natasha, but she silenced him by continuing, “Don’t argue with me, Stark. Steve’s death is on a lot of hands, but you’re the most public face of that merry band of misfits. Thanks for keeping a copy of Steve’s letter; gave me a heads up on what you were planning to do.”  


Tony’s eyebrows bunched together in confusion before looking down at the paper she’d shoved on him, seeing the letter Steve had written about Bucky taking up the mantle of Captain America. Oh. “He wants to do it. Who am I to stop someone who wants to make amends with the government he’s wronged in the past?”  


Already half way to the door, Natasha flinched and turned on her heels, shooting an accusatory look at Tony, “I’d thought you were a better man. Taking advantage of someone like James isn’t like you; if something happens to him, know that I’ll be blaming you first.”  


He couldn’t get another word out before Natasha had stormed out of his office, slamming the door.  


\--  


No matter how hard they had tried, Natalia’s superiors hadn’t been able to completely scrub her memories. She felt some of her more cherished memories slowly being sucked away, though, and she knew it was only a matter of time before they completely took her soldier from her.  


She managed to get away from the guard set up to keep her in her room one night. A short cut through a vent, and Natalia was in the basement area they kept some of their more ‘prized’ possessions.  


The place was stuffed, floor to ceiling, with all manner of weapon and tool. There were boxes lined across one wall, likely filled with black mail. It was the underbelly, a place where things not needed that would one day be necessary were stored.  


Natalia wasn’t sure where to go. The recruit that told her about the place had mentioned seeing something odd, and with time running out, any lead was worth it. She hadn’t seen her soldier in two weeks. All she wanted was confirmation of his whereabouts.  


At the end of one of the aisles, Natalia found what she was looking for- a large glass tube that had a sickly green glow to it. Confused, she slowly approached it, hand out stretched like it was about to bite her. The figure inside the tube became clear as soon as her fingers pressed against the glass. There, floating in the liquid, was her soldier. Her initial thought was they’d found a way to put him in a coma and store him, but her hope crashed around her as she looked harder. His eyes were open and glassy, his mouth hanging open slightly, and his metal arm was gone.  


“What did they do to you?” she murmured quietly. Tears started to spill from the corners of her eyes, and Natalia crumbled to the ground, sobbing. They’d taken away the one good thing she had and killed him. Worst yet, she had no power to seek her revenge. They had finally broken her.  


\--  


Bucky’s start as Captain America had been shaky at best, but Natasha wasn’t about to let him go barreling into the jaws of death without her at his side. The feeling between them was tense at best, though they learned to work together quickly. Even decades apart couldn’t shake the fighting chemistry they naturally had.  


They started training together at Tony’s suggestion. After all, it was a pity to not put the nice training facilities to use. It didn’t take Bucky long to notice Natasha always wearing some kind of tight fitting shirt, unlike her usual sports bra look she’d trained in. He never said anything about it, knowing that she was unlikely to respond anyways.  


After one of the more public Captain America outings, Natasha walked into the training area with a lighter shirt on that flowed around her. Bucky could barely keep his eyes off her, only tearing his gaze away when she spotted him. He could tell she was making a beeline for him and his face flushed; had she caught him staring? Her tone wasn’t one of anger, though, as she touched his bicep to get his attention. “Lift the back of my shirt up,” she said, voice serious.  


It wasn’t the oddest request he’d heard in recent weeks, but it was strange coming from his field partner. Natasha turned, tugging her hair out of the way, making him realize she was dead serious. With slight hesitation, Bucky lifted the shirt up with his flesh hand, careful to not drag his thumb across her skin. That impulse changed when he saw her left shoulder, however. Without even thinking about it, Bucky brushed his hand across the soul mark of his name.  


A wave of emotions crashed into him. She’d lied to him, but that paled in comparison to the fact that she was his soul mate. That the woman who had been torn away from him had been destined for him all along. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he finally said, dropping her shirt.  


Natasha turned around, smiling sadly. “The mark on your ribs- it says Natalia. When I defected, I changed my name to Natasha Romanov. When I saw the mark, I thought you’d be marked for who I was- not who I am.”  


Bucky smiled, brushing his flesh hand along Natasha’s jawline, “Your mark doesn’t say ‘Winter Soldier’ on it; it has my name. We’re not the same people we were then. We’re not the weapons they shaped us into being.”  


She nodded slowly, hand moving slowly to rest under his shirt. He lifted his hands, giving her permission to pull his shirt up. Her hand gently tugged at the cloth, hesitating for a moment, but her eyes lit up a moment later. Confused, Bucky leaned down to look at his ribs. The soul mark he’d held as a comfort had changed somehow; instead of Natalia Romanova, it said Natasha Romanov. The script was the same, but the sentiment was certainly different. “I think the marks agree that we aren’t the same people,” Natasha whispered quietly. She flattened her hand against his stomach, moving around to wrap him into a hug, “It only took us a few decades to get together, hm?”  


Bucky grinned, hands moving to cup Natasha’s face in his hands, “Only took us a few decades to find each other again.”  


She leaned up to press a kiss to his lips, slow and sweet, savoring the taste of him. There was a different feeling to it than before, given that the fear of anyone finding out was lesser and not life threatening. The worst thing that could happen wasn’t nearly as close to what they’d gone through.  


But Natasha couldn’t let the moment last. With her hands around him, she managed to throw Bucky to the side and to the mat, following after him and pinning his arms down with minimal effort. He let out a breathless laugh, choking slightly. “You’ve still got it, I see,” he laughed, looking up at Natasha with adoration in his eyes.  


“And don’t you forget it,” she responded, leaning down to kiss him again. Not much training happened that day.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lot more fun to write than I thought it would be. I'm a sucker for a good soul mate au, but never figured I'd write one.
> 
> Also, please check out the AMAZING art that geisterschloesser did, over on tumblr: http://geisterschloesser.tumblr.com/post/158666418786/this-is-my-contribution-to-pastismyown-s-story. I'm FLOORED that my fic inspired such gorgeous art.


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